mornings and melancholia

finally talked to my dentist (after two weeks of calling and texting - all her numbers, even her assistant's were not working) and all she said was: ok. tomorrow. thanks. i'm worried about my teeth: the two in front are so brittle i think i woke up earlier and found fragments on my pillow. and the grinding's getting worse every day; my mom heard it when we were talking on the phone! the jaw, too, some problem there.

then the twitches. which must mean i am very ill. a twitch is never a good thing. mayee told me i might be hypochondriac or something. then i started worrying that i might be. she laughed and pointed the irony (or humor) of that problem.

i haven't slept in days. well technically i did. three of four hours. three days. been sleeping at the office, too. this morning i woke up and the it's morning already. the hand and feet cramps were the worst ever. if i'd add that then that'd be seven hours in four days!

this is a part of my favorite vignette from einstein's dreams: a world in which time is absolute is a world of consolation. for while the movements of people are unpredictable, the movement of time is predictable. while people can be doubted, time cannot be doubted... people look at their watches and take refuge in time.

i make no sense. and the writing is really terrible.